At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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