Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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