She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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