I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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