areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
