My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize