..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
