when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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