now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
