Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
