if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
