I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
