Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
