conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
