its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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