mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
