a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
