someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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