Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
