I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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