he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
