idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
