Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
