Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
