I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
