Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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