I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Never underestimate the power of titties
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
