Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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