your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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