okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
