I want to stick my p in your. b.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
