remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
