new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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