Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
