Kiss
Puke
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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