I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
