love makes seman taste better
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
