so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
