it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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