I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Randomize
