The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
