pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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