I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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