hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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