So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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