He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
