dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
