I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
PANTIES FOUND
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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