I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
