I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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