This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
