Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
