Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
