Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
