i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize