I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
