Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
