So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
