ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
