so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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