Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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