I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize