"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
