You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just want to make out with him forever
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
