At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
