I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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