woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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