We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
